Wedding guide
Tips, advice, & good cheer
V 1.0
Get excited! You’re a step closer to becoming official co-captains, and that’s always a good time.
And, I want you to keep having a good time, so I’ve put together my best advice here in hopes that it can be one more resource as you plan a wedding that’s true to who you are.
If I could say only one thing before you delve into this labor of love, it’s: stay present & aligned with what’s most important to you.
Photographer's Note
In pursuit of photos about your day over a day about photos
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I believe the most beautiful photos are ones where you are connecting - with each other and with the people rooting for you. It’s so rare to get all of your loved ones together.
While much of the info here is from a photographer’s perspective, it’s also meant to encourage you to plan your day intentionally: if you center your day on moments (with a few key planning tips 😉) - the photos will fall into place.
Weddings have so many moving pieces, and when there's so much wonderful doing, it's easy to lose sight of the being and what's most important to you. Here are my top reminders for you to stay centered - whether you're a year out or a week out.
Tips to stay present (or, how not to get lost in the nitty gritty):
This day will slip by quickly. Plan a few different times that you'll check-in with each other to soak it all in - whether it’s seeing each other and getting grounded in the day, transitioning venues together, a snack break, or even stepping away after the ceremony for a few minutes before joining everyone.
Carve out moments together.
I received this advice when planning my own wedding, and it was a game changer: If someone offers to do something for you - during planning or on wedding day - let them.
Could you pull it off without them? Probably. But more often than not, they’re asking from a place of love and want to show their love for you through this act of service.
Let your loved ones love on you.
If there’s someone you can't imagine your day without - build in a minute throughout the day to spend with them.
My favorite way to have a genuine moment together is to ask for their help beforehand with something specific. Ask your mom to meet you a few minutes early to fix your veil. Ask your brother to help you with your tie.
Make time for your key people.
It may not sound glamorous, but so much about a wedding has to do with event logistics. It’s hard to be excited about seeing your boo when you’re also being asked where the vases go & what time the caterer arrives.
Whether it’s an official day-of coordinator or a trusted cousin, find someone who you can delegate to and who’ll keep you grounded.
Pass it off, perfectionist!
One of the biggest factors to impact your ceremony photos is the light you & your guests are in. Because it has such an influence on the final photos, I'm including some technical considerations, but I want to affirm that when & where you get married is a decision that should be based on what feels right for you: Your ceremony will be meaningful and beautiful no matter what.
Ceremony light
When it comes to ceremony light, it's even light, even photos. Here, you'll see two examples of ceremonies in soft, light - in this case, because of that good San Francisco fog and tent shade, but you'll get a similar effect in other scenarios (e.g., the shade from a building, etc.)
Ceremony light
Sometimes, the most scenic ceremony spot puts you under tree shade. The weddings here have sunlight coming in through the trees and falling on the couples, which means that (in addition to these huge smiles) you might also see some spots of shadows from the leaves.
Ceremony light
In one image, you'll see the sun falling on the couple (and causing a shadow on their officiant). The second image is from the exact opposite direction (a 180) - as they walk down the aisle.
To most people, this isn't a noticeable difference, but if it is important to you, an easy way to adjust for harsh lighting is changing the direction you're facing.
Ceremony light
Here's another example, but before you get too worried, remember to decide whether this is something you want to be mindful of at all - and also know that both of these couples married in these spots because it was sentimental & a big part of how they envisioned their day. We stayed the course and kept their ceremonies exactly where they wanted, and it was a grand & marvelous time for everyone.
Ceremony light
More than any decor, lighting has the greatest impact on the ambiance and feeling of your space, and you may sense a theme: there is no one right way to do it.
I try to use a variety of different lighting within your gallery and do my best to shoot in a way that captures what you're feeling, what is happening, and what makes the most sense in the moment.
Reception light
Candles & string lights
I don't have favorites 🙃, but I can't go without giving a special mention to the simple, unassuming, and romantic classics.
A few string lights or candlelight glow allows me to capture that as-is, this is how it looked and felt look further into the night.
Reception light
A sound timeline should allow you to invest your time the way you want. This is where things get spicy - for both the planners-at-heart and the free-at-heart.
Timeline Talk
Allow time for moments to develop and space for delays. If having a day of moments is important to you, that bit of unscripted magic comes when there's time for you to step back and enjoy yourself. And they definitely come about when things start to go off-script.
People are beautiful and messy - and if things start to fall behind (as they tend to do on wedding days) it’s a much better experience to have extra time on your side than to rush. If things go perfectly according to plan, you’ll have a few extra minutes to savor up time with loved ones. Win-win.
(but first, some caveats and a grain of salt)
Day-Of Wedding Tips
I want to note that I've had couples give me a timeline with no times at all: just a post-it-sized order of events (most of which were planned around food). If this laid-back, super-present vibe sounds like you, rest easy (and prepare to write your heart out on the questionnaire ❤️).
For those of us that thrive on more structure, here are my suggestions & tips for major parts of the day - but they're just that: suggestions, so take only what you need, and wholeheartedly ditch the rest.
Details
I’ll usually arrive in the final hour of getting ready to say hello, give big hugs (!!!), meet your crew, & start by photographing any important details.
I’ll do these simply and swiftly so that I can spend more time focusing on people-centered moments.
Many couples skip this altogether or ask that I only photograph the rings, but details can include any special or sentimental items - e.g., attire (dress, veil, tie, shoes, jewelry), heirlooms, memorabilia from your dating years, items made by hand, or gifts.
Getting Ready
Whether it’s with your inner circle, close family, or just the two of you, this is often when the sweetest moments happen! Everything starts coming together, & the nerves begin sink in.
As much as you are able, I love to do this naturally and without you worrying about me or the camera! Documenting the last hour allows me to capture final touches of lipstick into you getting dressed.
When you can, getting ready near big windows with plenty of natural light is wonderful. This brings out more natural skin tones - and means you'll have more space to relax than if you are crammed in a small bathroom or hallway.
Whoever is helping you get dressed (zipping the dress! pinning the boutonniere!) may feel more comfortable if they are in a robe or already in their attire.
First Looks
A first look is simply just taking a moment together before the day sets off. It's an alternative to waiting until the ceremony to see each other for the first time, and a moment that can still let you get grounded together even if you got ready together.
It’s often intimate, a few moments of quality time meant for you to take each other in, let your emotions & excitement out, and to talk and hug freely. Consider what would feel right for you. Would you like it to be photographed at all? Is there a spot you'd like to meet up?
(If your priority is maximizing time with guests, doing some portraits before the ceremony makes it smoother for you to be free & clear for festivities at your reception.)
Couple Portraits
A perfect opportunity for you to catch up on the day together. We’ll get a mix of candids with classic camera-aware shots.
Y’all know I’m a fan of snuggles + letting you enjoy time together! We’ll move around to different spots for variety and will also take a few individual portraits of you looking fresh.
If the day allows, I recommend splitting this into 2 different times of the day - usually after you see each other, then again after the ceremony during softer light. This means you'll spend shorter time periods away from guests and have portraits of yourself in two completely different moods (and maybe different locations).
This part is a collaboration - and if possible, I recommend that it’s just us! It’s easier for y’all to focus on each other and be in the moment, and it also means I can focus more on creating with you!
Ceremony!
For the actual ceremony, I am all documentary and won’t intrude to add direction. I’ll capture you and your people. It’s as simple as that.
Ceremonies differ greatly from couple to couple, but here are two universal considerations that might be worth exploring:
Take in Your Guests
Consider asking your officiant if you can take a moment during the ceremony to turn around to see your guests. You might otherwise be so nervous or focused to turn around and see everyone. It’s truly beautiful.
Unplugged Ceremony
Decide whether an unplugged ceremony (one where you ask guests to be present & put their phones away) is right for you. Some couples don't mind, but for others, being able to see the faces & emotions of their loved ones makes a big difference.
Family Portraits
Yes, your families! These are some of the most important photos of the day - the ones you & your loved ones will print and frame look back on for years.
The best time to take these is 1 hour before ceremony (before guests arrive) or immediately after (before anyone wanders off). This is the only part of the day I'll ask for a list to get your must-have groupings to ensure we prioritize these and keep the pace.
Here is the sample list that I'll include on the questionnaire as starting point! Each combination can take 2-3 minutes to gather & position people, so be sure that we leave enough time and that you'll both have capacity for your list.
I recommend designating someone (often a BFF or cousin) to help me find stragglers and mark off the list.
Reception
Whoo hoo! Enjoy your time with the people who traveled near & far to be with you! This combination of people is so unique - Your love made that happen!
I'm a really big fan of you getting to enjoy your cocktail hour and reception! By this time of the day, I’m moving around and keeping an eye on the little things that are happening along with any events/activities you have planned (e.g. dances, cake cutting, etc.)
I'm also around to take any other posed shots you might want - such as photos with extended family or friend groups!
If you're down - I'll often suggest sneaking away for soft light couple portraits, usually only about 10 minutes.
Toasts & Speeches
One of those classic wedding traditions that I truly adore, and no surprise: it’s where the sappiest, most thoughtful storytelling comes out & shines.
There’s something special about getting to see yourselves from the words of your loved ones - little pieces of who you used to be woven in with how you’ve grown together.
A Toast Tip
It’s tempting to want to avoid pressuring people by asking for these & simply leave an open mic - but, if these are important to you - give people a heads up in advance (+ a general time frame if you think you’ll need one!) Most people are usually over the moon to show up for you and welcome having time to reflect on what they'll say.
Dancing & Exits
Don't forget to join your humans on the dance floor if you'll have one! I've seen some solid ways to get folks dancing, so if you're wracking your brain - let me know.
If you’re planning a formal exit (e.g. sparklers, glowsticks, or Last Dance), be sure to give me a heads up on the questionnaire!
If my coverage ends before this happens but you still want it documented, consider doing it earlier on the dance floor! This can re-energize the party and allow you to close out your gallery with you surrounded by your wonderful people.
And that's a wrap! Take a deep breath, and rest easy knowing that your day will be real and wonderful.
This might be wild to include at the end of this guide, but chances are, you've asked me to capture the energy of your day - all the moments, all the joy.
As much as you're able to: embrace everything that happens on your day, and try not to worry about the photos. For me to document your day fully and honestly, it’s got to include all the bits: the ones you plan for (the traditions! the tenderness!) and the ones that show up uninvited (the chaos! the unscripted moments!).
I promise to give you my all and nothing less. Thank you for allowing me to tell the start of your story.
A final note
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